Updated: Sep 19, 2018
When you finally found what you love to do, you never thought it would come with hardships filled with buckets of tears. I used to personally think that, doing something you love, finding it, living it and being able to make it a part of your life would just come easily. But, it was not like that for me when I started out with Nysakapas. I’m starting off my first post in a different perspective because I really don’t just want to share the beauty and colourful journey of batikmaking but my very own pure thoughts of how I turned out to become who I am today.
I started out with very, very little money in the end of 2016. Was a baker at home for 3 years before that which was called Nysacookies. And from my tiny savings, I remembered buying my very first batik cotton in a local shop 30 minutes from home - the size was rather small, maybe less than a metre. Besides the cloth, I bought my very first tjanting pen tool, some wax and rosin- just the size of my palm. I remember my first dye, it was blue and that was the most expensive colour in the shop. I was really kidding myself, thinking I could confidently achieve batikmaking instantly like it was easy peasy!
I was dead wrong…
When I arrived home, straight to my kitchen. I remember holding Khalil in a Batik Gendong and my little Bilal looking from below, like I am some heroic scientist, figuring out how to put the wax recioe together.
“Boys gimme a break! What on earth is Ibu doing!??!”
So, I mixed everything together and focused on the hot melted wax, while the boys played with the tjanting tool.
So clueless I felt!
And after staring at the melted wax a little too long, I turned off the heat because smoke started to fill the kitchen. I felt horrible. Yes, I have actually overheated the wax. The smell was not like vanilla and eggs, that’s for sure-but it had this very artistic smell. A very ancient, smell that either makes you feel like you are in a cave or makes you feel very high-spirited! No joke!
And the trials and tribulations of perfecting my tjanting swag always ended up as trash and some kept for my own personal keeping. But, this is me telling you the clueless person I was in batikmaking.
And I do remember how I would wake up at 3 am because my husband would go to work at that time. I would keep trying and trying to get the hang of the wax- you can just imagine the art that is trying to flow out from my brain! Aaargh! It was so difficult because the wax cooled down too quickly, not even enough time for me to wax any shape onto the cloth. So, seeking help would be the next option for the next following days.
Even seeking help from the right person seemed impossible! Because I am from KL and I was hungry for the knowledge of batikmaking, whenever I went to some batikmaker for some help – they would always leave me clueless, disappointed or sometimes happy! But it’s only because, from my own study- the art is only for left for themselves. I used to think this was a pretty ugly habit locals initiate towards people who were foreign to them, but now, with the knowledge that I have, I can appreciate why some things are best left in the closet.
So, my batik trail seemed abit wonky and I felt that I would never get the technique right, but Alhamdulillah, Allah Maha Berkuasa, I was always led to the path I wished to seek. And like every new, crispy book of knowledge, I was thirsty, impatient and so passionate about wanting to know more about Batik Terap, the Malaysian way. And the best part I think about me going through that difficult time is I just can’t believe after all the sweat and hassle, I could achieve and make things from my bare hands-into this wearable art, using this ancient recipe that can be worn by many, many people. I still pinch myself quietly, this is really like a dream come true and Alhamdulillah for that.
So, any of you think running a business with kids is a bad idea because it includes a huge, chaotic turmoil- I believe we should give some room to that thought. There is always hidden beauty and sleepless nights with little children, and the outcome that I have encountered with them, sometimes feels like it’s meant to be. I don’t know.. children, art, homestyled life seems like the perfect wax recipe!
Till my next sharing!
Thank you so much for reading or browsing through my very first post and InsyaAllah it will get more interesting than this!
Kampung Serada, Terengganu, Malaysia